There is a small little nook of space in our home that we are working to convert into a playroom for the babe.  Until recently, it functioned mainly as my office.  But, as she grows, N needs more  space to spread out, to imagine, to create, to learn how to play independently.  So, over the course of a few weekends, we moved my desk and computer upstairs, painted the walls, and repurposed some old birthday decorations.  The room is nearly done and I quite like how it’s turning out.

 

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Fine, maybe pinecones don’t immediately evoke spring for you.  But, these adorable little ones are all over the place here and can only be signaling the impending arrival of Spring.

I love Spring.

I love the longer days, the lighter evenings, the open windows, the gentler temperatures, the bare feet.

So long, winter.  Can’t say that I’ll miss you!

Another negative.

I let myself mope around for two days.  I needed that.

In better news, my new doctor seems very promising.  She seems rather sharp and very real.  Not one hint of the false empathy that irked me so much before.  Back to see her again next week.

very fitting image by elseachelsea 


In addition to sharing adorable clothing and beautiful things, I also need this space to share my experiences with infertility.  The first time around, I chronicled that emotional loop de loop on an anonymous blog.  But, this is a story that I am no longer keeping secret.

I wanted so very much to somehow avoid being back in this place again, to get lucky again like we had the first time.  But, I am not a terribly lucky person, so here I am.

For a while, despite my head being ready to try again for another child, my heart was not.  Not ready to face another string of negatives.  Not ready to deal with trying so very hard to keep my my hopes tethered, only to have them rise just in time for the inevitable crash.

But, we really want another baby.  Want him or her enough to go through whatever it is that awaits us this time around.

We gave it a while on our own. But, tomorrow I will once again be walking into a doctor’s office.

It feels like we are moving both backwards and forwards all at the same time.

I am hoping a new doctor will have new insights, new solutions, new hope.

And, so it begins. again.

We moved into our house a little over two years ago.  In that time, I think that we’ve done a decent job at turning it into a space that reflects us.  Except when it comes to having art on the walls.  For one thing, I am terribly indecisive when it comes to investing in these sort of pieces.  I may love something today, but, will I still feel the same way about it tomorrow, next week or five years down the road.  For another, we simply do not have a huge budget.  I’ve managed to acquire a few pieces from here and there like my mother-in-law, etsy, and yard sales.  But, if I had my way, I would definitely have a canvas by Jen Garrido displayed in a most prominent place in my home.  Her work is simply gorgeous.

 

all paintings by Jen Garrido